This week we gathered to learn the real story of St. Nicholas. \u00a0My favorite line in the story is,<\/p>\n
\u201cNicholas was loved for one reason. He loved. He loved God and God\u2019s people so much that he would do anything for them\u201d. \u00a0Nicholas was known and remembered for his great love. \u00a0I arrived at class having assumed I was the storyteller and it quickly became clear that another teacher was also prepared to tell the story. \u00a0Love in this moment was me saying clearly that I would appreciate it if my co-teacher told the story. \u00a0I wanted to be the door teacher. \u00a0And love in the next moment was coming back to center and witness as I observed thoughts coming to me about how I might have told the story differently. \u00a0Love was letting go of the idea there is any right way to tell the story and instead watching and hearing how the story\u00a0was<\/em>\u00a0told and listening for what was there.<\/p>\n This past week has been challenging for me. \u00a0I have ridden up and down on waves of real and made up stories. \u00a0I have felt fine and noticed that my behavior was indicating otherwise. \u00a0I feel very sensitized now to seeing multiple layers in the stories I hear and tell. \u00a0I am seeing very big moments reflected in very small moments. \u00a0Above all I am struggling to deeply align myself with Love. \u00a0I want to love that Mystery we sometimes call God. \u00a0I want to love all beings. \u00a0I want to be like St. Nicholas. \u00a0In this desire, everything feels important. \u00a0So when one child took a toy out of another childs\u2019 hands during our circle and a fist was raised, I walked calmly over, held the hitting hand and said I would help. \u00a0I asked for the toy back. \u00a0The child refused. \u00a0I took a breath and repeated that I needed the child to give me the toy. \u00a0I felt the urge to copy the offending behavior and with my greater strength, power and authority, to take the toy out of the child\u2019s hand. \u00a0And I stopped. \u00a0I asked for the toy again and it was given to me. \u00a0I asked the other child if I could keep the toy safe till the end of our circle and he willingly handed them over, an action he had earlier refused to do. \u00a0This was a good interaction. \u00a0We stayed safe physically. \u00a0I exercised facilitating restraint and held the tension of compassion for all three of us. \u00a0I also clearly stated what was ok and what I wanted to happen. \u00a0We made it through together.<\/p>\n This was a beautiful and difficult small moment, a blip of time in our class, but it reflects for me a larger story. \u00a0Who I hope to be in the world is a person who can enter conflict and hold all of us in love until a new way opens for us. \u00a0I want to take that extra breath when I feel anger or fear before I act in unskillful ways. \u00a0I want to bring trust and love into places of strain. \u00a0And it was challenging to do that with pre-schoolers. \u00a0How will I do out in the world?<\/p>\n I am wearing a safety pin on my shirt these days and let me tell you, it scares me a little. \u00a0I am wearing the pin because I want to live into an identity of being a safe person. \u00a0What might happen if someone truly calls on me to be that in the world? \u00a0What happens if I don\u2019t take that extra breath in when I feel fear or anger rising? \u00a0What happens if I try to offer love, protection and safety and I fail? \u00a0What if the forces roll right over me?<\/p>\n I want to be like St. Nicholas. \u00a0I want to love us, all of us, so much. \u00a0I want a world of more love; real love. \u00a0The love that penetrates us so deeply that we blossom. \u00a0A love so powerful that we offer our service to others and for others. \u00a0How we do it matters. \u00a0This is what changes lives and changes the world. \u00a0And so I guess I\u2019d rather wear the pin and take my chances than try to avoid risk.<\/p>\n My daily spiritual practice has been a lifesaver for me this week. \u00a0It brings me back into seeing things as they are, it seats me squarely in gratitude and ignites a longing in me to bring the fullness of our connections to light. That is what I want to live in the world. \u00a0One area of practice is with our children. \u00a0I know my own shadow emerges with them first and is a place to learn about my growing edges and reaffirm\u00a0how and who I want to be. \u00a0I don\u2019t know what happens next, but I want to go the way of love, so I\u2019ll begin where I am and wonder what might happen next.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" This week we gathered to learn the real story of St. Nicholas. \u00a0My favorite line in the story is,<\/p>\n \u201cNicholas was loved for one reason. He loved. He loved God and God\u2019s people so much that he would do anything for them\u201d. \u00a0Nicholas was known and remembered for his great love. \u00a0I arrived at class having assumed I was the storyteller and it quickly became clear that another teacher was also prepared to tell the story.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":107,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-106","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-category"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sarahcledwynblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/106","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sarahcledwynblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sarahcledwynblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sarahcledwynblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sarahcledwynblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=106"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.sarahcledwynblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/106\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":108,"href":"https:\/\/www.sarahcledwynblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/106\/revisions\/108"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sarahcledwynblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/107"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sarahcledwynblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=106"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sarahcledwynblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=106"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sarahcledwynblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=106"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}