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I was speaking with a colleague recently about a possible talk on suffering for their community. \u00a0It’s been a while since I had a speaking engagement and I found myself having one of those moments where you meet someone new and you each take turns saying something that really resonates. \u00a0It was a fun conversation. \u00a0I had to chuckle as I spoke with the friend who referred me to speak on this topic. \u00a0She said, “When I heard the topic was suffering, I knew exactly who could speak to that”.<\/p>\n
I have been recently launched into another stream of learning in ways to understand this human experience and here is what I am learning as of late. \u00a0When we’re talking about suffering, we could be talking about many different things, so let’s separate pain from suffering. \u00a0Pain is change we resist whether that is physical, spiritual, emotional or mental pain. \u00a0It is what happens to us because we are here, evolving, learning and growing….and yes, dealing with limits, loss and the unpredictable and precarious nature of being alive in a body. \u00a0Pain is not an experience we can get out of, avoid or even fix. \u00a0All of us will experience this as part of our human journey.<\/p>\n
Next comes suffering. \u00a0What do we do in response to pain? \u00a0Do we move into fear? \u00a0Do we make up stories as to why this is happening to us? \u00a0Do we pretend nothing is wrong and try to keep going? \u00a0Do we fight it or try to fix it? \u00a0Do we get curious about it and see what is needed? \u00a0Whenever the pain is too much to process or manage, we run the risk of our system being overwhelmed which can lead to trauma. \u00a0Because trauma is pain that hasn’t been processed through the body, it can live in our tissues for our whole lives dampening our experience of ourselves, our relationships and the world.<\/p>\n
What can help us to experience the unavoidable pain of life, to process it and release it rather than store it? \u00a0Strange question huh? \u00a0No one really wants to experience pain, but it is good for us to do so. \u00a0The problem is that this stored pain doesn’t just hang out unobtrusively. \u00a0It runs the show of our lives from a place we can’t see it. \u00a0It causes physical illness and a certain amount of distance between the vibrancy of life and our experience of it. \u00a0This state of being is one way to suffer and while pain is unavoidable, with suffering there’s a lot of ways to play and prevent.<\/p>\n
So, what can help? My dear ones, it’s us. \u00a0Isolation is part of the problem that we can’t process the pain in the first place. \u00a0When we feel alone, things can get overwhelming pretty fast. \u00a0When we are accompanied in our pain by another person we love and trust, it changes the whole game. \u00a0Think of a time you went through something big and scary. \u00a0Did you have someone to tell, someone to listen and hold your hand?<\/p>\n
Now you know that for big scary moments, it’s not just having any other person present, but someone you trust. \u00a0To move into a space of healing (aka processing) pain, the conditions held by your companion are important. \u00a0Love, kindness, compassion and acceptance are traits that, when embodied and offered, are most likely to help us release and heal pain, avoid or relieve suffering and bring us relief.<\/p>\n
Go out and be kind today! \u00a0May you find and receive the love that opens you to healing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Pain. Ouch! Suffering. Oww oww oww oww! ???? Relief. Ahhhhh. This missing piece is us.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,9,11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-249","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-healing","category-transformation","category-trauma"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sarahcledwynblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/249","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sarahcledwynblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sarahcledwynblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sarahcledwynblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sarahcledwynblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=249"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.sarahcledwynblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/249\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":252,"href":"https:\/\/www.sarahcledwynblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/249\/revisions\/252"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sarahcledwynblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=249"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sarahcledwynblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=249"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sarahcledwynblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=249"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}